Gravitas Notices
Below are official documents written by Gravitas, including PSAs to employees as well as advertisement copies.
Vanilla
Unattended Cultures
- Unique name:
BacterialCultures
ENCRYPTION LEVEL: TWO
Reminder to all Personnel
From: Admin <[email protected]>
To: All
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- For the health and safety of your fellow Facility employees, please do not store unlabeled bacterial cultures in the cafeteria fridge.
- Similarly, the cafeteria dishwasher is incapable of handling petri "dishes", despite the nomenclature.
- We thank you for your consideration.
- -Admin
- The Gravitas Facility
Casual Friday!
- Unique name:
CasualFriday
ENCRYPTION LEVEL: NONE
Casual Friday!
From: Admin <[email protected]>
To: All
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- To all employees;
- The facility is pleased to announced that starting this week, all Fridays will now be Casual Fridays!
- Please enjoy the clinically proven de-stressing benefits of casual attire by wearing your favorite shirt to the lab.
- NOTE: Any personnel found on facility premises without regulation full body protection will be put on immediate notice.
- Thank-you and have fun!
- -Admin
- The Gravitas Facility
Dishbot
- Unique name:
DishBot
ENCRYPTION LEVEL: TWO
Please Claim Your Bot
From: Admin <[email protected]>
To: All
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- While we appreciate your commitment to office upkeep, we would like to inform whomever installed a dishwashing droid in the cafeteria that your prototype was found grievously misusing dish soap and has been forcefully terminated.
- The remains may be collected at Security Block B.
- We apologize for the inconvenience and thank you for your timely collection of this prototype.
- -Admin
- The Gravitas Facility
Mailroom Etiquette
- Unique name:
MailroomEtiquette
ENCRYPTION LEVEL: NONE
Reminder: Mailroom Etiquette
From: Admin <[email protected]>
To: All
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- Please do not have live bees delivered to the office mail room. Requests and orders for experimental test subjects may be processed through admin.
- Please request all test subjects through admin.
- Thank-you.
- -Admin
- The Gravitas Facility
NEW SECURITY PROTOCOL
- Unique name:
NewSecurity
ENCRYPTION LEVEL: NONE
Subject: New Security Protocol
From: Admin <[email protected]>
To: All
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- NOTICE TO ALL PERSONNEL
- We are currently undergoing critical changes to facility security that may affect your workflow and accessibility.
- To use the system, simply remove all hand coverings and place your hand on the designated scan area, then wait as the system verifies your employee identity.
- PLEASE NOTE
- All keycards must be returned to the front desk by [REDACTED]. For questions or rescheduling, please contact security at [REDACTED]@GRAVITAS.NOVA.
- Thank-you.
- -Admin
- The Gravitas Facility
Printing Pod Promo
- Unique name:
PropFacilityDisplay1
PUBLIC RELEASE
Introducing the latest in 3D printing technology:
The Gravitas Home Printing Pod
We are proud to announce that printing advancements developed here in the Gravitas Facility will soon bring new, bio-organic production capabilities to your old home printers.
What does that mean for the average household?
Dinner frustrations are a thing of the past. Simply select any of the pod's 5398 pre-programmed recipes, and voila! Delicious pot roast ready in only .87 seconds.
Prefer the patented family recipe? Program your own custom meal template for an instant taste of home, or go old school and create fresh, delicious ingredients and prepare your own home cooked meal.
Dinnertime has never been easier!
Projected for commercial availability early next year.
Brought to you by the Gravitas Facility.
Mining Gun Promo
- Unique name:
PropFacilityDisplay2
PUBLIC RELEASE
Bring your mining operations into the twenty-third century with new Gravitas personal excavators.
Improved particle condensers reduce raw volume for more efficient product shipping - and that's good for your bottom line.
Licensed for industrial use only, resale of Gravitas equipment may carry a fine of up to $200,000 under the Global Restoration Act.
Brought to you by the Gravitas Facility.
Thermo-Nullifier Promo
- Unique name:
PropFacilityDisplay3
PUBLIC RELEASE
Tired of shutting down during seasonal heat waves? Looking to cut weather-related operating costs?
Look no further: Gravitas's revolutionary Anti Entropy Thermo-Nullifier is the exciting, affordable new way to eliminate operational downtime.
Powered by our proprietary renewable power sources, the AETN efficiently cools an entire office building without incurring any of the environmental surcharges associated with comparable systems.
Initial setup includes hydrogen duct installation and discounted monthly maintenance visits from our elite team of specially trained contractors.
Now available for pre-order!
Brought to you by the Gravitas Facility. Patent Pending
Spaced Out! DLC
Meet the Pilot
- Unique name:
MeetThePilot
ENCRYPTION LEVEL: ONE
- From the time she was old enough to walk Captain Johannsen dreamed of reaching the sky. Growing up on an air force base she came to love the sound jet engines roaring overhead. At 16 she became the youngest pilot ever to fly a fighter jet, and at 22 she had already entered the space flight program.
- Four years later Gravitas nabbed her for an exclusive contract piloting our space shuttles. In her time at Gravitas, Captain Johannsen has logged over 1,000 hours space flight time shuttling and deploying satellites to Low Earth Orbits and has just been named the pilot of our inaugural civilian space tourist program, slated to begin in the next year.
- Gravitas is excited to have Captain Johannsen in the pilot seat as we reach for the stars...and beyond!
- Brought to you by the Gravitas Facility.
Office Space in Space!
- Unique name:
SpacePropFacilityDisplay1
PUBLIC RELEASE
Bring your office to the stars with Gravitas new corporate space stations.
Enjoy a captivated workforce with over 600 square feet of office space in low earth orbit. Stunning views, a low gravity gym and a cafeteria serving the finest nutritional bars await your personnel.
Daily to and from missions to your satellite office via our luxury space shuttles.
Rest assured our space stations and shuttles utilize only the extremely efficient, environmentally friendly Gravitas proprietary power sources.
The workplace revolution starts now!
Taking reservations now for the first orbital office spaces.
100% money back guarantee (minus 10% filing fee)